The Master plot to happiness part 2

  Summer came in I just left everyone nobody said farewell to me, because I didn't look at them in the eye anymore. I didn't care anymore, I wanted everything to just change! I didn't want to live in a world full of people who are killing each other for money, food, or vandetta. This happened while we lived in a weak utopian country, where stuff like this still happens.
  Later on the summer, I stopped studying all the negative and just stopped studying in general. I didn't want to see anymore futurism and negative outlooks on human beings. Soon after that stopped, I was depressed. I didn't know how to cope with this experience so rode my bike to the beach and I would ask for a ride at night with my mom. A few days later she said," I can't just do this every nights I have other work and responsibilities to work on." I understood why she said that I had to find another way to cope with the negative that radiated in my mind.
  Later that summer I decided to sleep over at my cousins house and I decided to talk to them about  my issues. They knew what to do with my issues. So they took me to one of our closest family friends, his name is Jilian. We called him Jill,  he was 56 years old a very wise man as well, we came into his house at 8 in the evening and he was just sitting on his couch sleeping. But he didn't sound like he was breathing. My cousin was being silly so he came up to him and slapped him a lot and called out ,"Jilian you're food is ready! ." As if he were his mother. He responded with ,"five more minutes mom." But then my cousin decided to be HIS mother so he screamed out "wake up right now or I will beat yo' ass right now mister!" And slapped him hard on his cheek and he woke up stood up and immediately left to his kitchen. A couple of seconds back he comes back scolding at us while I we were laughing out loud together. Later, we had a bonfire right outside his house in his backyard. Talking about stories as a little kid it was pretty hilarious the way he made everything seem so happy and positive. Making weird gesturea, laughing, being serious.  And then he looked at me, he knew something was wrong with me. He came up to me and just told," you are a very special person! What you do today will matter, no matter how small it is. You are changing the course of history itself. You are the story of humanity. Make this responsibility be the only one that actually matters. You are going to find yourself someday and when you do. Come back to my house." At that moment I didn't really all the way understand him but I got a piece of it. We went back home, and eight after I woke up I just asked myself, "who am I?"
  Who am I? What is my purpose.. I looked up "who am I" on youtube. And found a video of Judduh Krishnamurti he taught me so much and made me realize that there is more positive then negative outlooks in life. That I should forgive it all and go on to progress from it and make everything a better place for everyone in my present and future. I realized that making that Jill really helped me out that night. I found my happiness through other human relations and another transcendent experience that also came in my system. I figured out that I need to be happy for others to make it a more descent place for everyone else who hates it. I am the border of happiness for myself and others.  I am here and I found my place in this world. And I am glad I did.

THE MASTER-PLOT TO HAPPINESS PART 1

Last year I remember always fighting the bad, I would resist against everything I lived by, complaining about what a world we live in. Studying about "futurism" and I wanted this future that I imagined to be true. I wanted everyone to be free. Free of chains of what society has created, and what I could do to save everyone from hunger and violence. Make everyone seem more empathetic and compassionate. I was going into futurism a lot and found myself looking at "The Venus Project" by Jaque Fresco. This man had a full idea on society and how it should be for the future with everything free, food, supplies, programs, carreers. It all seemed so beautiful and blissful. But then I started to look into homicide, and I found a documentary on homicide. It didn't tell me the background of why homicide happens, but it did show me live footage of what it looks like at war and in a corrupted drug endorsed society. It was cruel and anticlimactic. People killing each other mostly for a paycheck and for justice. It was sickening watching similar creatures hurting each other, but their was this one footage that stood out the most, it was a young adult being framed for bombing a car with children in it. They put a blindfold on him and a sign. Layed him on the floor and they shot him a repeated amount of times. But the thing about that is that he wanted to breath he wanted to live, get up and leave, live again. It took him two long minutes for him to stop breathing. After that moment I gave up on humanity, I felt horrible that I just watched him die. Everything around me was a mirage to me..